It would require so much self-assessment as well as constant reflection over one's self, on his or her environment, the people that surround him or her and the overall condition of life that he or she is in. Experts say that once each of these has been thoroughly assessed, it will be easier to pave the way for continuous self-motivation. This could be difficult if the child is well-cared for or the custody plan had been in place for some time. Can anybody have custody over a child other than the parents? In California, judges must first consider the parents first, either singly or together. A judge, however, may give custody to another person (a grandmother, step-parent, or a friend) without the parents consent. Legal custody rights allow a parent to make major decisions on things that are involved in his or her children s life such as religion, education, and healthcare. Physical custody rights allow a parent to the child stay with him or her for good. Barring major disagreements in the wishes of each party, parents can easily determine their rights to custody of their children. Divorce is indeed a difficult phase in your life, especially if it concerns your child. In fact, a lot of divorced parents manage to make their child custody arrangements work for the benefit of their children. Even if you and your former partner are no longer living under the same roof, there are ways to ensure that your child gets adequate love, care, and attention from both of you. Make sure that you will have plenty of time discussing about the situation so that your children can ask questions and get adequate answers. 2. Prepare your child for the court hearings. This step is important if the judge wishes to talk to your children in private or if your children are required to testify in court. She can also ask to nullify visitation and custody rights of the father if there is physical abuse or violence. If the physical and mental stability of the father affects the emotional and psychological development of the child, mothers can file a petition for a transfer of custody. Custody rights of fathers Before the 70s, custody was often vested with the mothers following the tender years doctrine .